coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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