He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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