When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
