I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
