its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
