so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
