i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
