It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
time to smoke my breakfast
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
