I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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