Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
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the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
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Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
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