I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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