Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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