FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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