his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
