He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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