Umm I'm too high to move.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
