youre lurking in front of me
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
