This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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