I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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