Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
