In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
