I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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