This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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