i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
