you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
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Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
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Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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