I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize