i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
