..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize