I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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