I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
