I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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