K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
