Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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