every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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