im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
