Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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