I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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