Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
