even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
