Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
