You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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