garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
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