this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
