Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize