Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
