His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
