actually, I'm a sock model
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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