Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
