clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
