This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm really busy with my period
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