she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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