singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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