You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
