i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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