you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
