Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
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Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
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I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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