im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
