FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
