i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
