So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
