He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
this is an emotional support booty call
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
