He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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