He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
